Where do I begin? I have personally been on a journey for the past 36 years of my adult life. Striving to accomplish all the desires the Lord has placed in my heart. And I must tell you it hasn’t been exactly what I signed up for. I never dreamed that I would have been a single mother raising two children on my own, and that’s a story within itself. Or that I would have lost both of my parents and my paternal grandparents too early in my life – at least from my perspective. Married and divorced more than once, often times looking for love instead of allowing love to find me. But the most difficult time in my life has been these last 16 years.
It was the summer of 2000, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon I was driving to the grand opening service for the second campus of the church where I was on staff as the Women’s Pastor. I had been on staff at the time for about 18 months. I loved my job more than words could express. I used to tell my senior pastor that I couldn’t wait to get to work because of the great work relationship we had as a team. And serving the body of believers was such a privilege for me. My children also enjoyed going there. They had amazing friends who were a great influence in their lives.
The Journey Takes a Turn
As I was driving alone to the church that afternoon, playing my worship music and singing along with the CD, out of nowhere I was broadsided by another car. My car was thrown across three lanes into the curb. I was pinned in the car and I thought I was just shaken up. But to my surprise, when I finally arrived at the hospital and had the MRI, the injury was more devastating than I could have even imagined. As a result, I lost my peace and forgotten what it was to be happy. Over the past 15 years I have had seven back operations. I had the option of giving up or fighting to regain my life.
I cried much more than I ever laughed, in fact there were times I asked the Lord to please take my life because the pain was too much to bear. But through it all there were those who came around and loved on me the way I believe Jesus would if He had literally been in the room. Somehow, someway, I made the decision that no matter what, I was going to enjoy the journey and not allow my circumstances to overtake me. I began a sincere dependence on the Lord. If the Lord and I hadn’t truly yoked up together in that season of my life, I may not be writing this blog. He carried me every step of the way. Learning to walk again after each surgery only happened because the Lord was with me. Turning my tears into joy happened only because the Lord prompting me. It was his unconditional love, the love of others and my family that brought happiness and renewal in my life once again.
Yes, I was trying to get to the destination the Lord has assigned to me, I just didn’t know that a part of the journey would be 16 years of pain. But because of my willingness to allow Him to coach me, I learned that I could be happy and enjoy this season of my life regardless of the setbacks. Yes, I still live with pain but it no longer controls me or my emotions. May you find that place in God to not be so anxious to get to the assignment but enjoy the stroll along the way to your destination. There is nothing the Lord cannot carry you through. Don’t give up! The walk before you may have hills, valleys and pitfalls but I guarantee, you shall endure the test. Enjoy The Journey.